Holiday Stuffing ...
By Jeanne Robertson

It's stuffing season; the time of year for all the good cooks to come to
the aid of their families and load the tables with home cooked meals.
The rest of us have to wing it.

I inherited my inability to cook quite honestly. My Grandma Freddie
hated the kitchen, although she did love to entertain. Even though she was extremely tight with her money, she believed that as matriarch of the clan she should host the large family holiday dinners. One of them stands out.

Everyone was gathered at the Grandma Freddie's home for the 
traditional turkey feast. Her contribution to the meal was the bird. While she and most of the family socialized in the living room, my Uncle and Aunt sneaked into the house through the kitchen door. They had a small Cornish hen that they had browned and cooked, just as one would cook
a turkey. It looked for all the world just like a miniature gobbler.

They opened the oven door and carefully lifted out the twenty-five-pound turkey Grandma Freddie had cooked for dinner. They substituted the Cornish hen and hid the real thing outside.

After a while, Grandma Freddie went to the kitchen to check on the turkey that she was to feed to 28 hungry people. Family members, who were all in on the joke, casually followed her to the stove or hung around outside the kitchen to hear the reaction.

She opened the oven door and peered in. "Good Lord!" she screamed, and slammed the hot pad down on the counter. "That's what I get for buying a cheap turkey. It shrunk!"

Jeanne Robertson, professional speaker and author, can be contacted through

Photo by Kleeberg Studio.